borrowed this list from Merle because it made me laugh.
<><> Alternate Meanings for established words: <><>
1. Coffee -- a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted – appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate -- to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade – to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly -- impotent. 6
. Negligent – describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph -- to walk with a lisp. ??
8. Gargoyle – an olive flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence – emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steam-roller. 10. Balderdash – a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle – a humorous question on an exam.
12. Pokemon – A Jamaican proctologist.
I stay in my office to avoid becoming a coffee. I am flabbergasted and have completely abdicated. I don't esplanade and have never been negligent. I may lymph especially after an encounter with the Pokemon. Never been in a flatulence, used gargoyle or testicles and don't suffer from balderdash or willy-nilly.